Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe ...
Albert Einstein

A computer would deserve to be called intelligent if it could deceive a human into believing that it was human ...
Alan Turing

Two things control men's nature, instinct and experience ...
Blaise Pascal

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Yesterday: A DBA's backup song

YESTERDAY (Пејте ја по нотите на познатата песна Yesterday - The Beatles)


Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay
Now my database has gone away
Oh I believe in yesterday

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be
And there's a deadline
hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say
Now my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
Thought all my data was here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

Не ја измислив јас, таман работа, ја најдов на Oracle FAQ: Fun Stuff.

И уште нешто кое верувам на сите Oracle програмери и администратори им е многу познато:


Q. What if your Dad loses his car keys?
A. 'Parent keys not found!'

Q. What if your old girl friend spots you with your new one?
A. 'Duplicate value on index!'

Q. What if the golf ball doesn't get into the hole at all?
A. 'Value larger than specified precision!'

Q. What if you try to freak out with somebody else's girlfriend and being kicked out?
A. 'Insufficient privileges on the specified object!'

Q. What if you don't get any response from the girl next door?
A. 'No data found!' or ' Query caused no rows retrieved!'

Q. What if you get response from the girl next door and her Mom too?
A. 'SELECT INTO returns too many rows!'

Q. What if you dial a wrong number?
A. 'Invalid number' or ' Object doesn't exist!'

Q. What if you try to beat your own trumpet?
A. 'Object is found mutating!'

Q. What if you are too late to office and the boss catches you?
A. 'Discrete transaction failed!'

Q. What if you see 'theatre full' when you go to a movie?
A. 'Maximum number of users exceeded!'

Q. What if you don't get table in the lunch room?
A. 'System out of tablespace!'

Q. What if you need to go on a diet?
A. Invalid Body Size

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